The Burned Woman (Edward Mathis, 1989)

This one is as full of clichés as they come:

- We have this ex-policeman turned PI
- He drinks too much
- His best friend is a policeman who also used to be his mentor
- Big ass politician/businessman is involved
- Big ass rock star is involved
- We have a hooker with a golden heart
- And deviant sex hinting at incest

It starts decently with the disappearance of our hero’s wife in strange circumstances that include a highway accident in which a young woman is burned to death. So he goes into overdrive and starts an investigation. And since he earns his living by being a fuckin’ PI, one would expect this investigation to be efficient and quick, resulting in the recovery of his better half. Especially because he has the support and resources of the local police department behind him. 

Mistake! It drags on and on and is basically reduced to interviewing people connected to the victim, although there’s no apparent connection between the two events. So after three weeks (!?!!), he basically gives up and starts drinking even heavier and even fucking some young prostitute. What an asshole, he didn’t need much time to forget his beloved one! 

But then, suddenly, out of the blue, he gets an idea or clue he missed and cracks the case. Happy end, and they lived happily ever after.

I guess this book could be okay if everything moved at a quicker pace and wrapped up after a few days. But all that drama is unnecessary, especially since no significant leads are found and no events related to the case occur. FBI seems to come in just to show (a) how incompetent but still tough they are and (b) to have one of the agents fuck that poor hooker to show (I guess) how vulnerable and generally fucked up she is. Total ballast. Also, the language could be less monotone and the dialogue sharper.

All in all, routine and forgettable stuff.

2/5

Facts:

Hero: 
Dan Roman, Vietnam vet, ex-cop, now PI

Location: 
Around Fort Worth near Dallas, Texas. Present time.

Body count:

3

Dames: 
Susie, the kidnapped wife. 

Charlotte “Charley” Wilkins, the victim. 

Alicia, Charley's roommate.

Cover: 
Pretty cool, and it matches the title because there's an illustration of a woman’s face and upper body emerging from the fire. A bit arty and a bit comic book style. There’s no info about the author.

Cool lines:

“He’s pretty big star,” she said, as if that explained everything. “So’s the sun, but I don’t want it crashing into my house at three o’clock in the morning.”

He saw it a fraction of a second before I pulled the trigger: he had time to grunt again, widen his eyes, maybe time to know he was going to die.