The Switch (Elmore Leonard, 1978)

Last Wednesday marked the first anniversary of Elmore Leonard's death, and what better way to pay the maestro respect than reading one of his novels? Had this one sitting on my shelf for several weeks, and it was the perfect time to check it out.

It's a story about the kidnapping that goes wrong (as all abductions eventually do). This time, the fuck-up happens because the husband doesn't really want his wife back (furthermore, he prefers her dead) and also because, to be honest, Louis and Ordell are hardly some hard-core professional bad-ass criminal types.

A bit crazy, full of weird black humour that fluctuates between thriller and (almost) comedy. At times, pretty unreal and even unbelievable, but the story somehow holds water. At least I couldn't find any major plot holes or inconsistencies.

It's, of course, all about the characters. Nobody (except Willeford) does them better than Elmore Leonard. Once again, it was such a joy to follow their introductions (or audition as Leonard used to call this stage) and further developments. It felt like the author really enjoyed them and had a lot of fun moving them around like figures on a chessboard, disposing of them (Marshall) or introducing some new ones (Melanie). My only minor criticism would be regarding Frank because he really is a bit too cartoonish and stereotyped asshole yuppie.

Not Leonard's best work, but still immensely enjoyable.

4/5

Facts:

Hero: 
No central hero in this one. At first, I liked Ordell (probably because Samuel L. Jackson was so cool in Jackie Brown), then I started to cheer for Mickey (she liked George Carlin btw), but in the end, I think Melanie won over them all.

Location: 
Detroit. Shortly the Bahamas

Body count: 

1 + one critically wounded police officer

Dames: 
Mickey, the tennis wife and double-crossing Melanie

Blackouts: 

/

Title: 
Kidnappers Louis and Ordell refer to the exchange of Mickey for the money as "The Switch". But it could also mean the switch inside Mickey because once she was kidnapped, "She felt alive. Excited but calm."

Cover: 
Dark and sinister photo showing kidnapped Mickey. Pretty accurate with her wearing the white blouse and black tape over her eyes. It depicts a scene in which kidnappers first contact Frank with the ransom demand.

Cool lines: 

/

City Primeval (Elmore Leonard, 1980)

The last of the grandmasters has passed away. Not exactly tragic considering his age and recent health problems, but still very sad. But fuck it - this is a hard-boiled blog, so instead of whining about it, I gave my respect to the main man by reading some of his brilliant stuff. I just went to the bookstore and picked up the book with the coolest cover (not an easy task, thanks to Tim Marrs) that I haven't read yet.

Starts very funny by quoting the report of "Investigation of the Judicial Tenure Commission" against Judge Alvin B. Guy. Hilarious reading! We know all about Leonard's crazy characters (and love them all!), but it needs to be said that this guy ranks high in his weirdness top ten chart. In short, he's an even bigger asshole than Maximum Bob.

It's too bad he doesn't last very long, though, because he gets killed right away in the next chapter by the mandatory psycho. In City Primeval this honour belongs to 'Oklahoma Wildman' Clement Mansell, who "likes to live dangerously and likes to kill people". He's an okay psychopath/sociopath, but my problem with him was that I just couldn't decide whether I liked him or not. Which is not a necessary bad thing, right?

However, I did have a much bigger problem with our hero detective, Raymond Cruz, who is assigned to investigate the judge's murder. Won't go into his family shit or macho bullshit or psychological crap, let's just say that he's simply not very convincing or interesting.

So, after a super promising judge asshole, we are left with a mediocre villain and a dull policeman. Plus the usual partner (btw Hunter is also cool but totally underused!), hot blonde pot-head bimbo, hot bitchy criminal lawyer and some shady underworld figures with ridiculous names (like Skender Lulgjaraj for fuck's sake!). Decent cast, but not great. At least not in Elmore Leonard's world.

The major flaw is the story itself and its lack of a compelling plot. Which is even more apparent since the whole thing is character-driven, so its foundations are not very strong to begin with. After the furious start (car chase, followed by the double killing), it just doesn't move anywhere. It gets stuck somewhere between character study and standard police procedural. Instead of some new events being introduced, Cruz falls for Carolyn and shit like that.

There was a moment, though, when I had hoped that pace was about to finally shift a gear up. When Albanian gangster Toma arrives at the scene, it's pretty obvious that he's a mean bastard who'll make things happen. Check out his exchange of Steven Seagal-like bad-ass one-liners with Raymond:

You do what you have to do, I do what I have to do.
No, it's not that simple, because I want him too.
...
You always look in their eyes?
If there's time.
...
It takes time.
No, it doesn't. Tell me where to find him. It takes only a few minutes.
...

A bit silly, but still cool enough. Only it goes on for too long and becomes a tedious game of whose dick is bigger. But must admit that the conclusion is cool because Hunter simply comments that "Fucking Albanians are crazy"

It is funny, there's some sex and there's some action, so even though it turns into a predictable thriller towards the end, it is still very enjoyable reading right up to the final showdown. Without giving away too much, let's just say I didn't choose the word showdown as a metaphor. I will admit I didn't see it coming in spite of warning signs (Gregory Peck), so both the ending and the final twist were surprising. But unfortunately, I was just surprised by how bad Maestro finished the novel.

3/5

Facts:

Hero: 
Homicide Detective Raymond Cruz

Location:
Detroit

Body count: 

3

Dames: 
Sandy - Not the type, at first glance, some management consultant would keep in his stylish apartment. But look again and see fun in her eyes. It gave a man feeling that if he turned her little motor on she'd whirl him back to his youth and take him places he'd never been.

Carolyn Wilder - Prosecuting attorneys referred to her as the iron cunt. [Fatale]

Blackouts: 

/

Title: 
Cool-sounding, but not very accurate, as Detroit City doesn't play a significant role. Probably "Primaeval Justice" would be more appropriate, considering the American Wild West sense of punishment. 

Cover:
Super cool collage of the city, car and Raymond in front. Done by Tim Marrs, who's also the author of other Leonard books published by Orion. Somehow tarnished by Ian Rankin's cover blurb, but luckily enough, my copy has one from the New York Times (An entertainer who can write circles around almost anyone), so it is merely damaged and not entirely ruined.

Cool lines: 
Better to take an extra twenty seconds to be sure than to do twenty years in Jackson.[The Coolest!]


Jesus, the man had nerve. ... Men with nerve died like anyone else if shot in the right place.

Maximum Bob (Elmore Leonard, 1991)

Quiz time! What connects the following people: redneck white trash Elvin Crowe and his redneck white trash nephew Dale Junior, pot-head (turning into crack head) ex-doctor Tommy, parole officer Kathy Baker and ex-mermaid at the Weeki Wachee Aqua Bar who communicates with a twelve-year-old slave girl dead for more than one hundred years? And lets also drop in this weird mix a hungry alligator left on a porch.

Answer: Judge Bob Gibbs! Nicknamed Maximum Bob for "lenient" judgments, he is known for giving to his "clients". And also a racist, misogynist, primitive, horny, dirty old man. In short, another redneck. Btw, he's a Harry Dean Stanton look-alike.

And there are more, much more of these adorable oddballs. We have a policeman, Gary aka "hair puller", Dr. Tommy's homosexual (I think) servant Hector, Elvin's woman (and Tommy's) drug dealer Earlene, who is a night club dancer (so everyone calls her a go-go whore) and - last but not least - a few other respectful members of the Crowe clan. You see, Dale Junior is just "a dumb kid who thinks he's tough" and Elvin is simply insane, but there's also his illiterate one-legged, bedridden brother Dale Senior. Plus his wife Mavis's greedy and "alligator-looking" sister Inez, who is married to an alcoholic Dicky. So it's almost a good thing that Dale and Elvin's brother, Roland, is already dead because HE used to be the craziest S.O.B. of the three brothers, and I'm not sure that novel could take another one of these crazy rednecks...

So it's all about characters. Maestro Leonard moves them around like pieces on the chessboard. Some suddenly reappear after being absent for a while (Bob's crazy wife), some are used just once (Inez), and some are simply and unexpectedly terminated (no names, I won't give away any spoilers!). The same goes for their roles - we start with Dale Junior as the main villain, but gradually Elvin steps into his place. Tommy is initially a marginal character, but he and his servant, Hector, gain progressively increasing importance. Masterful characterisations, always on the right side of the thin line that separates believable and too farcical.

The story is excellent, although I did notice one or two minor plot holes, and the ending could have benefited from a more intense climax. It wouldn't lose much if that romantic subplot were dropped altogether.

But it doesn't really matter since it is written superbly. The ratio between characterisations, dialogues, other descriptions (complex legal system is a good example), and events themselves is just about perfect. Narration is combined by mixing the stories of three main protagonists, and by using this technique, the author manages to adjust the pace as desired. Fancy words; I'm just trying to say that Leonard grabs you by the balls and doesn't let go unless he wants to give you some breathing space! This style is perfected to the max in the chapter where Kathy interviews Leanne, and Elvin follows Gary to a hairdresser. Two trivial and almost banal little episodes are intercut with perfect timing, and great tension is created by using one's ending as a cue to the beginning of the other. We know that shit will go down, but Leonard just keeps teasing and postponing and teasing again. So fucking good you simply cannot stop reading it.

I'm not religious about Elmore Leonard, but this one is truly brilliant. Pretty unique, aside from Charles Willeford, of course. I'm so glad Maximum Bob is his debut on my blog; there will be others following for sure. Any suggestions?

5/5

Facts:

Hero:
It's hard to pinpoint because there are three main protagonists in this one. But since it is titled after him, it's gotta be the judge Bob Gibbs, aka Maximum Bob

Location: 
North of Miami - Palm Beach, Lantana, Ocean Ridge

Body count: 

4

Dames: 
Kathy Baker, probation officer. Earlene, "go-go whore"

Blackouts: 

/

Title: 
Hilarious, and to be honest, it was the main reason why I took the book off the shelf at Waterstones and checked it out. And a great nickname for the next cool Robert I will meet! 

Cover:
Great picture of Elvin sitting on his porch, wearing a cowboy hat, holding a gun, and surrounded by empty "longneck" beer bottles. And of course, an alligator lurking in the background. So very cool and capturing the spirit of the novel perfectly. It is a crime that the author is not credited.

Cool lines:  
He could tear up the house when he got mad, 'specially when his stump bothered him, as it was doing now. Mavis said the only way to protect herself and all their dishes was to hide his artificial leg on him.

Elvin spoke of prison for a while, about sports and movies, making it sound not too bad. Though advised Dale to get laid tonight; be his last shot at some front-door lovin'.[The Coolest!]


Booger music was coming out of hidden speakers and the go-go whore was moving to it on the terazzo floor, looking around bug-eyed like she's died and gone to whore heaven.