Robbie's Wife (Russell Hill, 2007)

Not much to say about this one. An old American screenplay writer goes to a rural UK countryside in search for muses that would help him create his next masterpiece and put him back on the H'Wood map. He finds one, or better to say, one and THE only one in a shape and form of Maggie, wife of the farmer and B&B owner where Jack wonders by chance one night. Obviously, poor lad's name is Robbie.

Jack falls madly in love with Maggie and from there on you don't need much of an imagination to guess direction where this thing will go to. And it's all about pure LOVE and not much about passion, fucking or even about good old money scheming. No deadly sins here to which we are used in our crime books. To summarize:

"You know that I've fallen in love with you."
"Yes, I know that. And when I'm around you it's as if my nerves are exposed, as if my skin is raw and if you were to come closer to me my body would betray me."

Still, at the beginning I kind of liked it. Jack was introduced as a bit of unstable character and I thought that he would eventually went really fucking mental. I could see lots of possibilities by simply turning him into aging Clint Eastwood type bad-ass, starting with (just an example) kicking the ass of that gypsy (pardon: traveler) blackmailing asshole. It would definitely appeal to Tarantino generation. And although I don't really qualify into that category myself, I know I wouldn't mind some action at all.

But nothing like that happens. I mean, he does get weirder and weirder and acts increasingly more irrational (you see, he's still in love) so "fucking mental" hardly qualifies for his state of mind. I think pathetic is much more appropriate.

It's written decently, but it's simply not my cup of tea I'm afraid. It just drags on and on for ages. To be a bit mean, I would call it "Postman always rings twice for the old people".

2/5

Facts:

Hero:
Jack Stone, sixty years old movie writer

Location:
UK countryside south of London on the farm called Sheepheaven (which btw is a really cool name isn't it?)

Body count: 1

Dames:
Robbie's Wife Maggie

Blackouts: 
After the whole ordeal of murder, having his car stolen and being humiliated and extorted by the gipsy, Jack drives back to London and starts drinking heavily in his little hotel room. He then finally passes out which - after all this shit and also considering his not so tender age - is of course totally understandable. 

Title: 
Couldn't be more direct or appropriate except for maybe choosing simply "Maggie"

Cover:
Maggie standing in the doorway. Which is a sort of a leitmotif as there are numerous occasions of her in that position (though none that I can remember of when she's dressed so sexy). Decent illustration, credited to R.B. Farrell.

Cool lines: 
He switched off the tape recorder. "You've been charged, Jack. You might want to learn the rules for cricket."