Robbie's Wife (Russell Hill, 2007)

Not much to say about this one. An old American screenplay writer goes to the rural UK countryside in search of muses that would help him create his next masterpiece and put him back on the Hollywood map. He finds one, or better to say, one and THE only one in a shape and form of Maggie, wife of the farmer and B&B owner, where Jack wonders by chance one night. Obviously, the poor lad's name is Robbie.

Jack falls madly in love with Maggie, and from there on, you don't need much of an imagination to guess where this thing will go. And it's all about pure LOVE and not much about passion, fucking or even about good old money scheming. No deadly sins here, to which we are used in our crime books. To summarise:

"You know that I've fallen in love with you."
"Yes, I know that. And when I'm around you it's as if my nerves are exposed, as if my skin is raw and if you were to come closer to me my body would betray me."

Still, at the beginning, it was all right. Jack was introduced as a bit of an unstable character, and I thought that he would eventually go really fucking mental. I could see lots of possibilities by simply turning him into an ageing Clint Eastwood-type bad-ass, starting with (just an example) kicking the ass of that gypsy (pardon: traveller) blackmailing asshole. It would definitely appeal to the Tarantino generation. And although I don't qualify in that category myself, I wouldn't mind some action at all.

But nothing like that happens. I mean, he does get weirder and weirder and acts increasingly more irrational (you see, he's still in love), so "fucking mental" hardly qualifies for his state of mind. I think pathetic is much more appropriate.

It's written decently, but it's simply not my cup of tea, I'm afraid. It just drags on and on for ages. To be a bit mean, I would call it "Postman Always Rings Twice for the old people".

2/5

Facts:

Hero:
Jack Stone, a sixty-year-old movie writer

Location:
UK countryside south of London on the farm called Sheepheaven (which btw is a really cool name, isn't it?)

Body count: 

1

Dames:
Robbie's Wife Maggie

Blackouts: 
After the whole ordeal of murder, having his car stolen and being humiliated and extorted by the gipsy, Jack drives back to London and starts drinking heavily in his little hotel room. He then finally passes out, which, after all this shit and also considering his not-so-tender age, is of course totally understandable. 

Title: 
Couldn't be more direct or appropriate except for maybe choosing simply "Maggie"

Cover:
Maggie standing in the doorway. Which is a sort of a leitmotif, as there are numerous occasions of her in that position (though none that I can remember of when she's dressed so sexy). Decent illustration, credited to R.B. Farrell.

Cool lines: 
He switched off the tape recorder. "You've been charged, Jack. You might want to learn the rules for cricket."