Got this one at the flea market for a couple
of Euros. I’m not Block’s biggest fan but was totally persuaded by this weird
cover. Which - amazingly enough - I cannot find on internet so I took a shot of
it myself for your viewing pleasure. Its author is a guy named Alan Forster and
after a bit of googling, this could be him.
Back cover quotes Robert Ludlum saying that
this is “Light-hearted crime at its very
best”. I’m not sure if this light-hearted crap was actual category back in
those days but I’m positive that nowadays this novel would end up in so called
“young adults” section of the bookstore instead of “crime”. It’s not bad and
I’ll probably give it to my nephew when he’ll be 15 but it’s just not my cup of
tea.
It’s centred on this amateurish detective
whose day job's a burglar. He gets involved in some far-fetched story of burglary/murder
mystery involving his dentist (!) and to make things worse he gets help from
another amateur in dentist’s secretary (!!). And yes, of course he scores.
Main problem is a lack of classical detective work
based on logic. Our hero basically cracks the case by getting drunk with a victim's good
friend who supplies him a list of three men that used to fuck
unfortunate Crystal (the victim). They are The Legal Beagle (a lawyer), Grabow
the Artist (a painter) and Knobby the Bartender (yes, you’ve guessed it – he’s
a bartender) and they become center of his investigation and his only suspects
(remember Cutie?). He cannot trace one of them but breaks into homes of the
other two and – true enough – they are both involved. In the meantime, just to
fill the gaps I imagine, he must also deal with some good cops and some corrupted
cops and some lawyers (they are all bastards anyhow). He’s so ridiculous
incompetent that he digs himself a hole too deep to get out of and he even
considers hiring a real PI to get him off the hook. I shit you not, here’s a
quote: “Maybe I can hire a private
detective to investigate this thing professionally. I’m not having much luck as
an amateur”. I know of course this was meant to be ironic, but to me it’s
just pathetic…
I also had problem with the writing style which
keeps trying to be amusing and witty. It’s not as annoying as Jonny Porkpie’s
(nothing is) but I still struggled to finish this without much yawning. At least
is not very long one.
2/5
Facts
Hero:
My name is Bernie Rhodenbarr and I’m a thief and I love to steal. I just plain love it.
My name is Bernie Rhodenbarr and I’m a thief and I love to steal. I just plain love it.
Body
count:
4, all pretty uninspiring. For one of them it’s not even clear if there was murder or was it an accident or maybe even suicide.
4, all pretty uninspiring. For one of them it’s not even clear if there was murder or was it an accident or maybe even suicide.
Dames:
an ex-wife and a secretary
an ex-wife and a secretary
Location: NYC, 70s
Cool
lines:
The problem, of course, derived from an
offshoot of Parkinson’s Law. A person, be he bureaucrat or burglar, tends to
take for a task as much time as is available for it.
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