Fit to Kill (Brett Halliday, 1959)

Basic detective novel structure dictates that our gumshoeing hero gets hired by some unfortunate soul, or gets involved in a crime accidentally, or is pulled into some family shit. But not this one: Fit to Kill starts with some sort of journalistic investigation spy-ish background story, and it spends quite a hefty 50+ pages on it, which means that our main protagonist, PI Mike Shayne, makes his entrance as late as in the 7th chapter.

Which is a good and a bad thing at the same time. It's good because it's a bit unconventional (and therefore interesting), but it's bad because the background story is mediocre. Standard stuff involving some dictator of an unidentified banana republic, resistant fighters, a damsel in distress, a mysterious package and so on. Its main character, Shayne's friend Rourke, isn't exactly convincing and is, in fact, pretty fucking boring. He's supposed to be this stereotypical kind of hardened newspaper reporter, but most of the time he acts like some naive horny kid. I don't know, probably Halliday characterised him intentionally this way so Mike Shayne would be cooler in contrast.

With Shayne's arrival on the scene, the novel's pace shifts several gears up. In fact, it turns into the "real-time mode" which - once again - turns out to be a good and a bad thing. Good thing being that shit really starts to happen pretty rapidly, but the bad aspect of this is that it simply doesn't work too well. Don't get me wrong: the plot is not terribly complex, and it's easy to follow, it's just that its timing is way off sometimes. Simply too many things happen in twelve hours to make the story believable.

But it was still cool to read. Shayne is a pretty interesting character because he's supposed to be this cliched hard-boiled detective, but still he makes a few mistakes. Right at the start of the case he loses the girl he was tailing (He was frozen with indecision, which was an unusual state for Shayne), later moves a corpse before police arrives to the crime scene, walks into the Professor Quesada's house without any plan (so he gets knocked out) and other silly stuff like that. But still, he manages to tie up all the loose ends very efficiently in a great ending when all the pieces fall in place.

3/5

Facts:

Hero:
Michael Shayne, PI

Location:
First part in some unidentified "Central American republic", second part in Miami.

Body count: 

3

Dames:
Carla Adams with "elegantly nyloned legs" - She had the delicacy of colouring that is only found in girls with precisely that color hair.

Blackouts: 
Yes, but it's just "Shayne fell forward and the mist closed in about him." 

Title: 
Cool sounding, but also pretty puzzling one. The badass who does all the killings seemed very fit to me. Or is it referring to Rourke, who is finally fit to kill someone after his whole ordeal? If yes, who is he supposed to kill?

Cover: 
Not the usual paperback half-naked chicks & guns stuff, but quite interesting and nice one. This is relevant to the story, too, because thick glasses play a part in the novel, although it is far-fetched. Let me explain: the killer wears glasses, so without any second thoughts, Shayne links him to the asshole Renzullo, and - even more far-fetched - the police buys this idea without any reservation, so - check this, I shit you not! - they start a manhunt for a guy wearing glasses - "I want every outgoing train, bus and plane checked for a man wearing thick glasses"

Cool lines:  
Rourke asked the switchboard girl for the right time. It turned out to be time for supper, so he called room service, and ordered a bottle of rye and ice.

The Thief Who Couldn't Sleep (Lawrence Block, 1966)

Unusual globetrotting espionage/adventure. Not the biggest fan of those genres myself, so at least I'm assuming it's a bit unusual to have a protagonist who cannot sleep (so he learns languages and manically reads) and writes other people's master thesis for a living.

On one of these job assignments, he comes across an old Armenian woman and over a few cups of coffee (Armenian coffee: hot as hell, black as sin, and sweet as love), she unveils to him the long-lost secret of gold that Armenian people had stashed away during the Turkish massacre during the WWI. In no time at all, Tanner decides that many of the freakish societies across the world (whose member he is) could benefit from some big ass donations. So he promptly applies for the passport and sets out for the treasure hunt.

Sounds much more conventional than it actually is. You see, our hero starts six international incidents, is hunted by several states' secret police and a few sinister organisations ("I know you're hotter than a grenade with the pin out") in a chase that begins in Ireland, goes all the way southeast through Europe to Bulgaria and ends in Lebanon. Along the way, Tanner fucks a couple of hot girls, runs into a bunch of odd (even by his high standard of oddness) characters, sparks a minor revolution attempt in Macedonia and somehow obtains complete dossier of the British air and coastal defenses (which btw cannot be very strong since the whole thing is pretty thin). When taking into account that this paperback is 200 pages long, it actually feels like it was written by some madman on amphetamines (who couldn't sleep?)

But it's not bad at all. It's funny and I liked the fact that it didn't take itself seriously at all. Tanner in no way tries to emulate the James Bond type of agent. Cold war doesn't play no role here (I don't think this term was ever mentioned) and his goals are pretty modest as he certainly doesn't try to prevent some shit like nuclear attack or WW3 - turns out that his loot was worth mere $371,520 (according to this website this would amount to 2.6 million today). Also worth mentioning is that Block doesn't mock exotic (by American standards, I guess) countries and bore us (and maybe himself too) with American patriotism. He actually did his research pretty thoroughly, and we learn an interesting fact or two about those "exotic" places (though I think he exaggerated a bit about Irish hospitality).

Silly, charming nonsense. I guess it still qualifies as a cosy crime, but I liked it better than Block's silly Bernie Rhodenbarr crap. But I don't think I'll check anything else from the Tanner series. Unless you can recommend a good one?

3/5

Facts:

Hero:
Evan Michael Tanner or Ivan Mikhail Tanner, according to Radio Moscow

Location:
Turkey, Ireland (from Shannon airport to Limerick to a nearby village Croon to Dublin), Madrid, Grenoble, Italy (Venice, Udine), Yugoslavia (Ljubljana, Zagreb, Belgrade, Tetovo), Sofia, Balikesir and then 800 miles two day drive to the southeast town of Antakya, crossing Syria and finishing in Lebanon and then flying (finally!) back to Washington.

Body count: 
One secret agent + many casualties of the Macedonian revolution

Dames:
Nora, an Irish gal + Annalya, a Macedonian woman. Tanner fucks them both. Nora is simply lonely (who wouldn't be in Croom?) and horny, but Annalya has deeper reasons for seducing our hero. When she comes, she ecstatically yells: "A son! Give me a son for Macedonia!" Hilarious stuff, we need more horny revolutionaries!

Blackouts: 
Nope, not even sure if a guy who cannot sleep can black out. But there was a scene where Tanner pretended to be unconscious when a double-crossing bastard of the Society of the Left Hand struck him with a tire wrench.

Title: 
No nuclear physics required to decipher this one: Tanner is a thief, and he cannot sleep.

Cover: 
Pretty standard and not very imaginative one. Cannot figure out what that green shit in the background is.

First time on this blog: 
My hometown, Ljubljana in Slovenia, is mentioned. Which is cool, but even cooler is that it also takes place in Dublin, where I live these days.

Cool lines:
Some pretty bizarre (and funny?) insults from the prison guard, Mustafa. Looks like this asshole has some sort of animalistic Oedipus complex:

- Your mother loves to perform fellatio upon syphilitic dogs.[The Coolest!]

- Your mother spreads herself for camels.
- Your mother was blinded by gonorrhea.